SAMANTHA: Is it okay to open up to my boyfriend about my life? We have been dating for two months now. He opened up to me a little, and he begged me to tell him about my life too. The truth is I went through a lot and I don’t want him to feel sorry for me.
Being in a relationship with secrets is like two people trying to make love wearing their overalls – there just can’t be any intimacy. Relationship is opening up.
Today I cannot understand why you do what you do – till I know what you went through the whole of yesterday.
Most times it’s so much easier to forgive your partner for what they do or say if you understand why they do or say it.
Don’t try to explain why you do what you do – because that will sound like you are being defensive. But just tell me the story of your life, and when you are done I will pause for a few minutes and then you will hear me say…
“O now I understand why whenever I mentioned that word it got you so moody the whole day!”
Everyone has a story.
When you tell someone your story, you introduce them to your soul.
However, bare your soul with caution. When you give anyone access to your soul you would have also given them power to build or break it. So open up with caution.
Open up as he opens up.
If he opens up a little, also open up a little. When you give him a portion of your past, kindly ask for a portion of his too.
Try NOT to let him know more secrets about you than you know about him.
I call that the Equilibrium of Love.
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