THEMBI: When is the right time for a woman to ask her boyfriend for money and when is the right time a man can ask for sex?
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What amazes me is that when I as a woman asks for money I’m labelled as a whore but when he asks for sex, isn’t he a whore too?
Firstly, I would like to correct something.
Sex and money cannot be compared at the same level.
The fact that a man gives you money doesn’t mean he deserves your sex, and the fact that you give him sex doesn’t mean you deserve his money.
These two have totally different levels of importance.
Money is just a human invention. Sex is a natural resource.
Sex is God made and money is man-made.
For that sake sex is more valuable than money. Giving sex for money is losing the natural in exchange for the artificial…
Women who give sex for money are like the old African kings who gave European traders gold and ivory in exchange for beer. It’s a loss making transaction.
In the short run you seem to be gaining, but in the long run you will find you helped in your own exploitation. You gave more for less.
To be honest the strongest sexual relationships don’t start with sexual activity – and they stay sex free for quite a long time.
Studies show that couples who started having sex before they were married are less likely to enjoy sex in marriage as compared to those who waited. I have explained why in Chapter 3 of this book.
Recommendation: It is recommended that a boy should never ask sex from a woman he hasn’t married.
There are boys who ask for sex, especially the never-marrying type. In South Africa and Bostwana, for instance, some boys go as far as expecting a girl to first give him a baby before he can marry her.
Sadly many girls give sex and give babies only to be dumped – and face the painful ordeal of choosing an abortion or, if she is kind enough, she raises the baby as a single mother.
All this can be easily avoided by any woman who chooses to guard herself wisely.
I just wish we could raise that breed of women again, who understand that the honey gourd is hunted by both beasts and men!
If he is still a boyfriend, don’t give him the benefits of a husband. How he responds to your decision is what decides whether you have met a beast or a man.
If you choose to stick with a beast, I respect your choice, but just remember beasts don’t build homes because they prefer to live, grow old and die in the wild jungles of life.
A man only deserves sex from you when he marries you!
In the previous question I answered the money issue in detail. Let me add this African Proverb that says
“Whosoever marries a monkey for his money, one day the money will be gone but the monkey will remain as he is.”
– AFRICAN PROVERB
NB: The word “monkey” is an African term for a person of bad character, no matter which race he belongs to
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