JAYDEN: How do I deal with being in love with two people?
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These are not just general feelings, to be honest I’m in love with my current girlfriend but I’m also still in love with my ex.
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My ex is seeing someone else. But she confesses she never stopped loving me…
Hi Jayden. There is someone with a problem exactly like yours. He sent his question through the Ask Moffat page on my website. The only difference is he has been married for nine years now.
He also says he loves his wife so much and they are happy together. But his high school sweetheart just moved into town, and he is in love with her just like it used to be.
Let me help both of you…
You are going to feel for so many people, but only one person can you love.
– MOFFAT MACHINGURA
Love is what makes me stay with my partner even though I feel for anyone else.
Love is not how I feel; love is seen in what I choose to do when I feel that way.
That is why in the first question (1) What is love, I said the proper definition of love is given by the actions that we choose to do.
Life will test your love in many ways. At the beginning you loved your girlfriend so much that you chose to ask her out – that was the first test of love.
Later you loved her so much that you chose to sacrifice and buy her a gift – that was another test.
Sometimes you did something wrong, the test was whether you could choose to come back and say you are sorry. Every time you passed the test your relationship grew to the next level.
Right now life has presented a woman from your past right in front of your eyes, what it really means is your love is being tested at another level. Life is asking you,
“Will you choose to keep your current girlfriend as your only girlfriend – even in the presence of all women that you once loved; and the women that love you? Have you yet learnt to love to that level?”
If you lose this test in this relationship that you have right now, then all the other levels you worked hard for will crumble down. You will have to start them afresh with someone else.
Then even if you do, again at some point all the girls you left behind will still come to your mind as a test of the new love you would be claiming to have.
But if you win this test right now, and choose to love your partner above all the past partners who loved or still love you, then your relationship with your present-day girlfriend will grow to the next level. 🙂
Take some time to be honest with yourself. You have fallen for someone else probably because there is something you share together that you don’t have in common with your current partner.
For example, it could be that she is more jovial than your partner or you are more physically attracted to her than you are with your partner.
When you get it, you will probably find it’s not really worth losing all that you have built with your current partner for. No-one can give you all that you want.
Even this other woman in your life is not going to give you everything you want when she becomes your girlfriend.
Everyone has got their own flaws.
The honest truth is you will never meet a person who totally satisfies you. Settling down is more a matter of contentment rather than satisfaction. Be content with person you have found; they are amazing in their own way.
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