(23) We are both in our 30s, but my boyfriend doesn’t seem to be having any plans to settle down. What should I do?

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AVA: I have been in a relationship for 2 years now.  We have only broken up once during the period. My boyfriend always says how much he loves me but he never talks about the future.

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We are both in our early thirties and l think he is old enough to make plans about marriage and stuff like that, but he never talks about it.

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I know some of his relatives but l can’t help thinking that maybe I’m not in his future plans. What shall l do?

Hi Ava, if you are that age, and have been dating for two years then your relationship must now be mature enough to talk about anything.

Take this month or two to observe his mind closely. If a man wants to settle down you can tell by the type of houses he starts to talk about, or the way he plays with other people’s kids, or even his comments about other people’s weddings.

If you notice some interests, then maybe the future is in sight. If you still feel the same way two months from now, then kindly sit down together and respectfully ask him what are his plans for the future.

If his answer doesn’t seem to say anything about settling down, then it could mean he doesn’t see you settling down together.

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Moffat Machingura

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