i) Be Secure
Never think that a man wants to leave you or cheat on you. Insecurity makes you unattractive. Be a confident woman.
Being insecure makes you controlling, and you end up giving him laws;
“Why are you not calling me? You are online but why are you not chatting with me? Why did it take you so long, who did you speak to on the way?”
If you want to keep your man give him love, if you want to lose him give him laws.
You keep a man by LOVE not by LAWS.
ii) Give Him Space
To be a man’s number one doesn’t mean you are the only thing that occupies his day or time or attention. Like every man, even Mr Right needs his space.
He is the man in your life but he is NOT your life. You are the woman in his life but you are NOT his life. D
uring the day both of you should go get a life, so that at sunset you can both text each other about it.
Sometimes, during the day, he will be online and not chat with you, the truth is he will be occupied.
But don’t worry, he already has a time slot preserved for you in his mind. He just has to clear urgent messages so that he can leave time for important ones like yours.
To love is to set each other free. If you don’t give Mr Right his space he will have no choice except to continue his search for Miss Right.
Even though you are Miss Right he will fail to recognize you.
iii) Read about Love
Love is NOT taught at school.
We are succeeding in our careers but failing in our marriages – it’s because at school we are only taught to make a living but not to live with people.
If you want to make it in love then educate yourself by reading helpful love and dating advice.
Every woman should read Secrets of Fascinating Womanhood and every couple should read Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages. Carol and Bruce Britten’s books will also be very helpful.
Then with all confidence: every person should have read this very book, How I Kissed Heartbreak Goodbye at least once in their lifetime.
The wisdom you will gain through this book will change your life and the lives of many people that you care for. I am hundred percent sure of that!
iv) It’s How You Talk
If your partner hurts you, your response can either grow the conflict or solve it.
If you say, “you are so cruel, why do you always speak such inconsiderate words, now I know you don’t care about my feelings…” The problem will get worse.
Every person gets defensive when blamed. He may apologize later, but it would be way after he has bashed you back: “You think judging me makes you holy, how come you also treat me that way every day and I say nothing…”
Use what I call the “When A happened I felt B” Technique.
“Honey, when you spoke those words in the morning (A) I felt so hurt to be honest. I felt like I don’t matter to you. Even right now I’m trying to sleep, but I’m still feeling down…”
You are not blaming your partner for how you feel, because your feelings are always your responsibility.
Instead, you are letting him know you started feeling that way when he spoke certain words. He can’t be defensive and say, “No, you didn’t start feeling that way…”
All he can say is “Really? I’m sorry I didn’t see that coming. I just wanted to express that the room had a funny smell. I really didn’t mean to hurt you.”
Your aim is NOT to make your partner feel guilty but to feel love. He must know he has hurt the woman he loves.
v) Give Back
If a man buys you a gift, it means gifts mean a lot to him too. If he always complements your good character it often means complements keep him going too.
Send back a gift. Invite him over for a home cooked meal, or deliver it to him warm at lunchtime. Men want to be loved though they always deny they do.
If he calls you call him too.
If he passes by your workplace to say Hi, reciprocate by asking if he arrived home safely. If he calls, send a “thank you for calling” text.
If you don’t give back then it’s not a relationship; very soon his love tank will grow empty, and he will lose the drive to go on. Mr Right may end up doing something wrong.
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