ELI: Social networks are one of the critical issues breaking up relationships and marriages today. How can I avoid this problem? How do I maintain my social activities under control if I am in a relationship or married? How far is too far?
The problem with technology is that it comes to us faster than the wisdom to use it.
For that reason we have so many divorces and affairs that were instigated by the freedom found on social networks (like Facebook, or WhatsApp).
It’s from those relationship failures that we are all beginning to realize social networks could be both a blessing and a curse.
Cellphones and Social Networks can be tools to awaken love in your relationship, or they can be traps that weaken it.
Here are five tips that make technology awaken rather than weaken your love relationship:
i) Publicize Your Relationship
Don’t get me wrong, if you are still dating there is absolutely NO good enough reason to change your Facebook status to “In a relationship with Blah Blah.”
Facebook is one of the biggest countries in the world, displaying your relationship status on Facebook is just as good as hosting a wedding party – the only difference is Facebook is bigger.
However, when you are engaged to be married – it is time to publicize your relationship.
If you are married, don’t keep displaying yourself as single. When you post photos, be together with your partner at times, and state that it’s your “Bae” 🙂
Lift that left hand in photos and let your engagement or wedding ring show. That will protect your relationship.
Are we saying if you do this you won’t be approached? The answer is a resounding no.
But at least anyone who dares ignore your ring, relationship status and photos is definitely a problem and a marriage wrecker.
ii) Cut Off “Casual” Encounters with Opposite Sex
If you keep chatting with a person of the opposite sex, or your Ex, when you are dating or married – then you are not serious about the success of your relationship.
Yes you will talk to some colleaugues but definitely, it must be infrequent.
If it’s too frequent, that person is taking the place of your partner, and very soon that person will be playing the role of your partner.
If you want your relationship to work, keep your partner as the most frequent and recent person you chat with.
Failure to that, you will look back one day and say Facebook ruined your marriage when there are actually people who are thanking Facebook for keeping theirs stronger.
iii) Avoiding Arguing Via Text
Reserve arguments for face-to-face interaction. Texting can be the most mis-communicative method of communication during arguments.
This is because you can only guess your partner’s tone and facial expressions. You can never be sure.
So if your partner’s text seems to irritate you in some way just tell yourself that you could be wrong. You really could be wrong.
iv) Remember when to switch off the phone
You can’t keep checking your phone on a date. In fact you can’t even let it keep disturbing your conversation with its unending buzzes on the table.
Everyday make some time to lay your phone aside and just be with your partner.
One woman once complained,
“If my husband had an affair with another woman I could comfort myself saying one day she will grow old, less pretty or die. But my husband has an affair with his computer and phone, even if it’s wrecked off he can send it for repair.”
v) Be Transparent
Adam and Eve were naked and not ashamed, but when they sinned they started sewing fig leaves because they were now ashamed of seeing each other naked.
If everything is fine in a relationship, you won’t mind sharing cell phones and even account passwords.
Beware when you start to hide your phone from your partner – fig leaves are a sign that sin has found its way into your relationship.
Make it a goal in your relationship to be as transparent as possible. I address that point in the next question…
