VICTORIA: I have trusted before, and I guess I trusted too much. When I heard he was cheating on me, and when he later admitted it, it was the worst surprise of my life.
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I was devastated, couldn’t eat for days and I called it quits. How can I know if my partner is cheating?
Hi Victoria.
The first time you fall in love and get heartbroken, it’s just your heart that gets broken.
But if you keep falling in love and keep getting heartbroken over and over again, at the end it’s more than just your heart that gets broken – but also the “Faller” in you – that part of you that falls in love gets broken.
That is when you start finding it hard to ever fall in love again…
Loving a person who has a broken Faller is the most difficult thing in life. You will be questioned why it took you so long to answer the phone or to come back home…
If you try to be romantic you will be asked “Why do you care so much are you trying to hide something?”
If you slow down a little bit you will be asked “Why don’t you seem to care about me? Is there somebody else?”
All these questions are not being asked out of love but out of fear of pain. You are trying to cuddle a wounded soul and every time you try to hug it you cause more pain.
A wounded soul is just sores all over, and I’m sure the same has happened to you Victoria. What you really fear is NOT losing him, what you really fear is pain.
What you have to learn to deal with is not fear, what you have to deal with is how you respond to pain.
The past brought you pain, now give the present a chance to take that pain away.
Every relationship is different.
Don’t judge the person who is in your life according to the person who used to be.
Just as every person’s mind has its own unique thoughts, so does every person’s heart have its own unique affections.
The fact that you are with a different person shows it’s now a totally different kind of love. Give this love a chance.
Then of course there are obvious signs that your partner could be cheating – I advise you to stick to the obvious otherwise you will stop being a partner and start being an investigator.
Now the best tell-tale signs of cheating are these:
- If he carries his phone to the bathroom (or makes it a big deal if he finds you using it)
- If you find he is still active in dating sites
- If on Instagram he still follows lots of sexy and half-naked women
- If your partner keeps showing you how members of YOUR opposite sex are more attractive than you are noticing
- If you fight frequently and unreasonably, and lastly
- You know your partner could be cheating if someone tells you so (Don’t take this for granted).
These signs only suggest you should watch out.
If they start happening, it means you can start sniffing more deliberately.
You could be right or you could be wrong. All the best.
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