VANESSA: I separated with my first love five years ago; he left me for another girl. I was so devastated that it took me three years before I could get into another relationship…
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In this second relationship, everything was going on great, he even suggested we go for family introductions. As I was getting ready I called to tell him I was ready to go.
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A lady answered his phone and called me all sorts of names (slut, home-wrecker etc….) and that is how our relationship ended. He called days after and I didn’t entertain him…
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Now it’s a year down the line and he is calling me on a daily basis. He came over to say he is sorry for hurting me.
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The same thing happened with my first love, he returned to say he is sorry. I really wonder why do men behave this way or maybe I have a problem? Please help.
When your spectacles get broken it’s possible to see the whole world as broken – yet the cracks are in your eyes and not in your world.
When you keep meeting men who break your heart, it is possible to think all men are heartbreakers, yet the truth is people are different.
When you believe all men are bad, you close yourself from meeting good ones.
Our beliefs create our possibilities, and like Celine Dion sang, “love comes to those who believe.”
If you don’t believe in magic then you can never see it. Believe in the magic of love.
What I want to assure you is you are NOT the problem. You can’t judge yourself according to other people’s choices. You have chosen to love, and don’t get it twisted love is a beautiful thing.
Those two men have chosen to cheat and that makes them the problem in all this. And they have lost more than what you lost – they lost someone who truly loved them and you lost people who didn’t.
I still think you are an amazing person. Measure yourself by the love that you gave and don’t measure yourself by the people who took that love for granted. They have no idea true love is hard to find.
Your greatest problem has been self-blame. I have seen some men sneak away from the most beautiful woman you could find only to cheat with a woman whose face you have to plead God’s forgiveness for calling beautiful.
I’ve seen some men who left kind and soft spoken women for the most sharp-tongued and quarrelsome woman you would never wish to meet anywhere, not even in hell.
The truth is, sometimes it’s just not about you – some people don’t have a sense of commitment to anything.
You are blaming yourself because they left and you are blaming yourself because they returned.
But i just wish i could make you see this truth. That in the journey of life you will meet all different kinds of people. Some good and some bad.
You just have to make sure the bad won’t stay otherwise they take up space for the good who are still on the way.
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