ALLEN: What can a man do to satisfy a woman? I find it hard to read their minds.
Well, Allen, the first thing you should do to satisfy a woman is to stop trying to read her mind. Just stop it.
You are her boyfriend and not her psychic. And if you ever noticed on TV, psychics live and die single.
i) Love her
almost all of a woman’s emotional problems are born from feeling unloved. She doesn’t want to just see love, she wants to feel it. If she is moody or down, don’t try analysing a lot of things. Don’t start by asking what’s wrong.
Here are a few tips to show your woman that you love her…
Just admire her beautiful eyes.
With the back of your hand tenderly pull back some hair off her face (even if there is no hair on the face just find a reason to pull that hair back!)
If her lipstick is bleeding a little beyond her lip, just slowly and carefully dab it off with the sliding of your gentle thumb (just don’t ruin it)
Speak to her with love,
Sing to her as good or as bad as you can…
If a woman had a bad day at work, she wants to be loved. If she watched a scary movie and can’t sleep, she wants to be loved. If she isn’t feeling well, she wants to be loved. Just assume your job is loving her, and you will be correct almost every time.
ii) Praise her
If a red dress blends with her skin more than purple, never tell her purple makes her look terrible – No!
Just say red makes her look like an angel, and that the purple dress is not doing her any justice.
Women function by praise and complements. Be patient and careful with your words. There is no need to hurry; you are here for a lifetime anyway.
If she cooks a bad meal, just eat what you can and say thank you. There is no need to be emotional about it – remember you are a man!
If she cooks an amazing meal, that day praise it like you will never stop! Ask how in the world she ever found the idea to cook it that way.
You will mould her better with your complements than with your criticism.
Complement her hair and she will work on her face too. Complement her skin, and she will join the gym to work out her full body.
Don’t compare or criticize her, because that doesn’t give her strength to be the best of what she can be.
Women flourish in an atmosphere of praise.
iii) There is a difference between what she says and what she really wants
That day when you started touching each other, she asked for more. After you had slept together, she said you used her.
You are puzzled because you think she agreed. Yet she feels used because what she said wasn’t what she meant.
Most times women say what they feel, rather than what they mean.
When she says she will be visiting the shopping mall later in the day, but later tells you she ended up “having other plans.”
What she really means is, she felt like window shopping at first but when the time came she was feeling like doing something else. So she did something else.
When she says change of plans she means change of feelings.
When you want to move your home to a new city, and she turns down your suggestion, then don’t take it personal.
Next time take her on a ride in a new city before you think of telling her about it. When she gets the feel of it, you could hear her exclaim
“Wow, honey I so love it here, it would be nice to move down this side.”
Some weeks after you have moved you could hear her say she misses the old city where you both used to stay.
Now don’t say “But you said…” Understand she is saying what she feels at that moment and it doesn’t need to be taken seriously. It’s just a passing mood.
Florence’s Real Life Story
Florence always spoke harshly towards her husband. She told him he was useless and if she knew better she wouldn’t have married him.
After some years, and cut to the bone by her sharp words, her tender and quiet husband finally asked her a calm simple question, “If I was to step out of your life and never return again would that make you happy?”
“I don’t care!” she replied, “it would be a blessing actually!!”
The man quietly opened the door and went out. That very evening he was found dead, having drowned himself in the nearby river. This is a real life story.
It’s been years since Florence lost her husband. She now survives with Sally, their daughter.
“I never meant any word I said, I was just angry and wanted to show it. I loved him, and he was a good man. Talking to him like that was simply a way to show how importantly something meant to me.”
Most times women say what they feel, don’t mistake that for what they mean.
iv) Love a woman who loves you
If a woman tells you she “is not interested” or that she doesn’t “have feelings for you” then believe her.
If she tells you to move on, run.
Don’t play needy because a woman can’t respect Mr Needy.
If she is playing hard to get, you can feel it’s still a game. If she is playing too strict, acting irritated or rude, if she is making you feel like you have to be less a human to get her – then move on. It’s not a game anymore.
Remember in a relationship power belongs to the one who cares less.
Never start a relationship with someone who doesn’t care.
Don’t crank love. You lose time, energy and money. If she tells her friends, you are the last person she will ever want to be with, then staying with her will be just as difficult as convincing her to be with you.
Many men have forced love where they weren’t loved, and today they are living sad lives that they would never tell anyone.
Love someone who loves you. It’s not about loving someone; it’s about loving someone who loves you.
v) Be There
Be there when she needs you. Ignoring her will work against you.
When you ignore me, you teach me to live without you. You make me realize that I can still pick up myself without your effort.
Ignoring someone grows the tolerance of separation rather than shrink it.
Be there when she wants to make decisions. Men are decision makers. When she asks what you both can do for the weekend and you say, “It doesn’t matter, anything on your mind” then you are asking her to activate her masculine decision making side.
If you keep neglecting her to decide on her own it won’t be long before she is worn out by the relationship.
Above all
Be yourself.
Treat her like you would like to be treated.
Give her the same love that you give to yourself.
If you are compatible and suitable for each other, you won’t force it.
Even though you will have to apply effort because no relationship smoothly flows like a roller coaster, you will still tell if what you agree on matters more than what you disagree on.
If it’s like that, then keep going forward!
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