BENJAMIN: I’ve been finding it hard to have a relationship, cause am really scared of rejection. Anytime I find a girl that I like I just keep thinking and staring at her from afar, I hope this will stop as I’m getting older.
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I’m just through with school and not stable or independent yet. I don’t have a job as yet, I guess that’s why I’m scared.
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I think it’s because I don’t have money. But I love taking responsibility. That is financial responsibility.
The fear of rejection will rob you of many things in life… money, business, love, you name it. In my book Cinderella Taught Me Lessons I write that,
“Imagine anything that you could be having right now if you were not afraid of anyone or anything. Whatever it is, that’s exactly what fear is stealing from you right now.”
MOFFAT MACHINGURA | Cinderella Taught me Lessons
If you truly love someone, then don’t leave them to be wasted by hyenas and beasts of this wild world.
Step forward and give it your best shot. If you win you win, if you lose don’t blame yourself: anyway you were only trying to love.
It’s good to find a job first…but don’t make money a big deal. Work first and stabilize your life – that’s beautiful.
Only remember money can’t buy you love. A woman who rejects you for being broke is not worth having when you are rich.
To make it easy for you – I say:
I. Don’t just go for any girl.
Go for a girl you like who also seems to like you.
You can tell on your own if a girl likes you too, and never let anyone else tell you that. That would be a formula for disaster.
If a girl likes you she doesn’t mock you or speak condescending words in public. She can laugh at your jokes, even when they are silly sometimes.
She can be quiet and shy when you are left sitting all by your selves. She can defend you when you talk, or she can act very kindly towards you.
(For example she can pass by your home to drop your Bible that you forgot at church, or she can bring it next Sunday and give it to you before Church begins).
ii. Don’t tell her you love her straight away
Ask her out for a walk or for lunch. Just talk and have fun. Say nothing about your feelings.
When it’s over, tell her you found her fun to be with and wish you could have another time like that again.
When she agrees, meet again and this time get a little romantic with your talk. Compliment her eyes, her voice and her hair when you are sitting together.
She will laugh, but she will also know you are going somewhere.
If she has given you her numbers text her “thanks for the day, you are so interesting to be with.” Everyone wants to know they are interesting.
When you are meeting the third time, then you could tell her that you like her a lot. Tell her you believe in love, but you are willing to first let her get to know you better.
If she agrees then treat her like you would treat your girlfriend. A month or two down the line you can speak your three magic words – I love you.
iii. Be confident in yourself
Don’t even worry; women know that you are a good guy.
Actually they are anxious for the day you will ask them out.
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