ZANDIE: I already feel like crying. It’s like I have a wound that won’t heal.
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I first loved this guy called James four years ago. In the first year we broke up but I just couldn’t move on – I remained stuck on him. There was no sex, I lost nothing else except him. But still I couldn’t move on.
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Two years later I tried another relationship. This was a good guy and he loved me, and even to this day I know he still does. But we broke up. I couldn’t love him no matter how hard I tried…
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Three years after the break up with James, he (James) returned into my life. He behaved all sorry and I still loved him. I took him into my heart, not knowing he was going to break it again. A year later he came into my life, and the same thing happened.
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I know I’m stupid to keep taking him back like this. I try to be over him but I fail. And every time I think I am over him, he just finds his way back into my life again. I give him another chance…he makes me believe he has changed yet he would be lying.
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He never treats me right even from the very first days that we get together. He just goes silent on me. He distances himself …the more I try to reach out to him the more he shuts me out.
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It’s really bad … even the way I’m always there for him, especially financially … I don’t go to work but I always make a plan for him.
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It hurts that I let the good guys go hoping he will change one day.
Why do I keep going back to him? Why? Because I know if he comes back right now… I will still give him another chance and he will hurt me again.
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Why does he keep coming back to me? Is it to hurt me?
Hi Zandie.
When a guy loves you…you don’t ask him to call. You don’t ask him to be kind, to visit you or to spoil you sometimes.
Dear, you are in love, but sadly you are in love alone. Remember the adage “Love is a waste of time if it’s only one way.”
Anyone can claim to be what he/she is not, but nobody can act that way for long.
You must learn to judge people by their actions and not by their words.
The ear is more easily deceived than the eye. Judge people according to what you see them do rather than what you hear them say.
When you love someone to the extent that you think you can’t live without him/her – then whatever it is, it’s not love at all. Instead, all you have is an obsession.
True love moves on because in reality, we don’t share the same blood vessels or the heart that pumps our lifeblood.
You don’t love this guy and you know it. His character and behaviour pains your soul.
The real reason why you can’t let him go is because you are not in love with him; you are only in love with the idea of being in love with him.
It’s clear that you don’t love him for what he does; you love him for what you wish he would do.
You are in love with the idea of being in love – and that idea is dangerous because it remains sweet even if being with him is bitter.
You are building castles in the air, mistaking fantasy for reality, a mirage for a marriage.
His behaviour is actually God’s writing on the wall that this man is NOT for you, and to choose him is to choose a lifetime of sorrow and pain.
God’s voice doesn’t have to be louder than the writing he has already placed on the wall of your heart.
Now I want to answer your question, Why does he keep coming back into my life only to hurt me over and over again?
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