i) Keep it Simple:
A love relationship is very simple. Don’t bother trying to make every day a special occasion, just share your normal everyday lives.
Accompany each other to buy something at the shops, to collect your young brother at school or to visit someone at the hospital.
If you are tired just find somewhere to sit and be quiet – sometimes don’t even bother trying to raise a topic of conversation – just being silent together could be enough.
If you feel like you need something special, set it up for weekend or month end. Just be simple. Love is a long distance marathon not a short distance sprint.
ii) Talk Everyday:
Talk at least three times a day – at breakfast, lunch and supper.
No matter how busy you are, reserving just an hour everyday only to be with your partner will keep your relationship in a healthy shape and state.
On very busy days talk for twenty minutes in the morning; ten minutes at lunch and thirty minutes in the evening. On lighter days, talk as long as you can.
If you have nothing to talk about, find it. Conversation needs effort, especially at the beginning.
Get to the internet, search for a list of questions to playfully ask your spouse, or a game you can play together, or some jokes you can share, etc.
On some days choose one of the questions or games and use it to start your conversations.
Or just try to recall an incident in your childhood, what you went through or what your parents taught you.
Respond to your spouse’s stories too. Show interest even if what they are saying might not seem important.
Most times what you gain the most is the flexibility to communicate together rather than the information being shared. Treat each other as friends. (See question #3: If we keep seeing each other won’t we get bored?)
iii) Have four compliments for every single complaint:
If you haven’t given your partner at least four complements since the last thing you complained about, then you aren’t ready to make another complaint.
Two complaints in a row make you sound nagging. Complaints without complements make you unattractive.
The best way to complement someone is simply to explain the reasons for your “thank you.”
“Thank you for moving that stove, you are so strong.”
“Thank you for giving me that idea, you are so helpful”
iv) Say I Love You Every Day:
Don’t merely say the two words “love you,” instead say “I love you” – without the letter “I” that sentence is just as meaningless as it would if you omit “you.”
Every day say I Love You to your partner; and every time after a quarrel.
Never let your partner guess whether you still do. “I love you” will always be the best words to hear no matter how many times you hear it.
v) Say Sorry:
In love “I am sorry” is just as important as I Love You. If your partner tells you that he/she is hurt – defending yourself doesn’t take the hurt away.
Don’t just say you are sorry, show that you are sorry.
Hold hands, stand close and, if you can, cuddle to show that you mean your apology.
Do your best to keep your partner happy, there will never be another chance to love each other again after you are both dead and buried.
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