i) Find a quiet spot and cry
The truth is you are broken inside. Bottling things up inside your human frame will only worsen the crumbling happening inside.
Moving on can even take longer and the pain may end up evolving into frustration, numbness or a form of latent anger that will be destructive to your future relationships.
Whether you are a man of steel or an iron lady, find a quiet place, most preferably at a green natural setting, and just let the tears flow.
Let the saddest thoughts come and don’t withhold yourself from crying.
If anyone interrupts you, ask that person to leave you alone for quiet sometime – and don’t be embarrassed to say that you will come talk after you are done crying.
ii. Talk to someone
This is where good friends of the same sex come in. Find someone to talk to, and just share how you feel.
You aren’t expecting anyone to change anything, you simply want someone to talk to.
Don’t look for someone of the opposite sex. A heart break is a vulnerable moment of life.
There is a high risk of falling for a person you merely need for now but can never love in the future.
iii. Write about your feelings
You can write a poem expressing your feelings.
Or you can put them in a diary/journal.
Writing is normally the best way to get in touch with how you really feel without being limited by the attempt to please anyone.
iv. Find what you love to do, and do it
If you enjoy singing, compose a song. Or join the church choir.
If you enjoy exercise, resume your morning jogs.
Practice your dance moves again. Go join a football club. Or go find an adventure – sky diving, canoeing or bungee jumping.
Just bring your life back to what you always loved before you loved anyone.
The heartbreak thoughts will come back sometimes, but don’t worry that’s normal.
v. Stop blaming yourself
Breaking up is part of dating, and finding your one suitable life partner out of billions of people doesn’t have to be easy.
You did what you could and you made your share of mistakes – life will give you another chance again, it always does.
It doesn’t matter what you lost, you can always start where you are and build something better.
vi. Find yourself again
The worst thing about heartbreak isn’t the pain it makes you feel; instead, it is the person it tries to make you become.
Yes in a heart-break watch out for the pain, but most importantly watch out for what that pain makes you become.
It’s not just the heart that gets broken; it’s your identity too.
A heart break can make you believe you are a loser yet your chance just hasn’t yet come.
It can make you believe you were a fool for loving where you were cheated on, yet you can’t blame yourself for loving someone because love is a good thing; and you can’t blame yourself for being cheated on because that wasn’t something you ever chose.
You are a good person. At the right time you will meet someone who doesn’t make you doubt it.
vii. Decide to move on and tell yourself so
Tell yourself you are going forward…
Stop wallowing and cancel that pity party you keep having for yourself. Tell yourself…
“I can’t change the past but I can still step into the future.
hat happened hurts, but my life is still my life and I’m going to rise up and make it as sweet as I can.
Everyone has their chance and when my chance comes it will be beautiful.
It’s hard to believe right now, but I choose to believe it despite how I feel because I know the truth is the truth no matter how I feel.”
viii. Look forward
In my book Life Capsules for Your Faith I write that…
“The reason why yesterday never returns, is because the only direction in life is forward. Face forward.”
̶ MOFFAT MACHINGURA | Life Capsules for Your Faith
Sit down and plan your future again. I know you are saying “Sir Moffat, there is no future without my ex” the truth is everyone has a future without any person who is in their life right now. You just have to sit down and re plan it all over again.
ix. Above all, contact a specialist:
We are here for you. You will get daily lessons that will help you deal with all those painful emotions.
You will find your happiness and laughter again, and plan a whole new life independent from the past that you don’t have to bother trying to change.
Simply contact me to start your complete recovery now.
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