Emma was wild. She was that 24-year-old who still slammed doors in her mum’s face like she used to in her teenage years.
She was struggling with drinking habits and, above all, relationship issues.
Almost all the men she had loved, dated, and gone to clubs with, would dump her, cheat on her or she would later realize they were married men.
One day after another bitter heartbreak, she visited home. When her mother saw that sunken face, she knew it was another “Boy Left Me” sob story…
“Mum I want to get married to a good man. A loving and God-fearing man you know…”
“Yes I know dear,” her mother replied, “you are looking for a good man, but do you think good men are looking for you?”
You are looking for a good man, but do you think good men are looking for you?
– MOFFAT MACHINGURA
That was the thorn in the flesh for Emma. That was the cause for almost all her relationship problems.
She was looking for a good person, but she never set down to consider if any good person would look for a person like her.
Even if the world gives you the best, it won’t make a difference if you treat the best at your worst behaviour.
Sometimes we meet the right people but fail to keep them by the type of persons we are.
We find love that we can’t keep. We find true love, and act fake to it.
What if there are good people who could have approached you but they saw that you were bad from afar and ran for their lives?
Finding a happy love relationship depends on two things; 🅰️finding the right person and 🅱️ being the right person yourself.
There are the two benefits of being the right person:
a) You Can Only Be Comfortable Settling for a Person Who is as Good as You Are
In life, we receive the love that we think we deserve.
That is why a person who used to cheat in past relationships can miserably keep up with their current partner’s cheating.
That person will be saying, “I did it to others why shouldn’t it happen to me too.”
If you usually insult your partner, you will keep up with your partner insulting you too.
You can even insult them back. Though you know being insulted is wrong, you keep up with it because having done it first makes you think you deserve it too.
This is how by treating others badly, you also set yourself up for bad relationships. Your mind records that “you too deserve to be treated badly” and you don’t deserve anyone who treats you good.
That is why when you meet a good person, you will ask them to leave you alone. You will just find yourself telling that person:
“It’s not about you, it’s about me. You deserve someone better…”
In life, we receive the love that we think we deserve.
Be a good person, that will make you comfortable being loved by a good person too.
b) It takes one to know one
When you become the right person, you increase your chance of recognizing the right people.
If you are a good person, you recognize the right people by how much they remind you of who you are.
It takes one to know one.
Often, we demand from others what we are unwilling to give. Yet even the best love dies when its unreciprocated.
If you can’t be as good as the person loving you, your failure to change will rob you of the person that loves you.
– MOFFAT MACHINGURA
When you become a wrong person to someone who loves you right, you make that person regret being the right person.
– MOFFAT MACHINGURA
That’s why it’s possible to find a good person and turn them bad through the bad way you act towards them.
How to Be the Right Person to Your Right Person
1. Helpfulness
A good person is helpful.
Step into people’s lives with the intention to make them better than you found them.
Make time to be there for others even if it’s uncomfortable for you.
It doesn’t matter that person is your mother, brother, friend or life partner. Be a burden bearer. Help with the trash, with cleaning or cooking, or with ideas and advice where you can.
Helpful people are selfless people. Unhelpful people are selfish people. If you are selfish then you are NOT ready for love, because love is NOT love till you give it away.
2. Be Mature
By maturity, I don’t mean age.
Of course, many times maturity comes with age, but in just as many people age seems to come alone.
By maturity, I mean the ability to grow through what you have gone through in life – rather than let it mess you up.
You may have been heartbroken in the past, your father left you when you were young ☹️ or your mother was so uncaring that she dropped you on your head when you were five….
If you have allowed what you have gone through to turn you into a bitter, insensitive, and toxic moron, then you still have some growing up to do.
Maturity is using what you have gone through to make you better not bitter.
Maturity is building a heaven for everyone because you don’t want anyone else to stay in the hell you once lived in.
– MOFFAT MACHINGURA
Anybody can let a bad past teach them the worst, but it takes maturity to learn the best from the hell that you been through.
– MOFFAT MACHINGURA
Relationships are NOT a place for broken people. Your dating partner is NOT your therapist. If you are broken, find help before you try to find love.
3. Sense of Humor
To make it in love and life, you need a sense of humor. I’m NOT saying be a comedian like Trevor Noah. Just be able to laugh at your own mistakes.
Don’t take life too seriously you won’t come out of it alive anyway.
Download memes, watch comedies, read jokes. When your partner says something humorous – learn to laugh! You are NOT wasting time; you are having a great time.
Some people are too serious as if their faces would crack if they smiled or laughed.
In my love and relationships seminars, I normally teach people who are seeking life partners that,
Your life partner must first be your laugh partner. If you can’t laugh together, you can’t live together.
– MOFFAT MACHINGURA
But Before You Do All That
Remember, being right to a wrong person doesn’t make that person right for you.
Check out these 7 seven signs of a healthy relationship, if yours fits into that, it deserves your best.
Being the right person to the right person builds your relationship, but being the right one to the wrong one breaks you.
Beware of loving the wrong person right.
Before you give your best, make sure you are in the right relationship first.
